Emotional reactions are most present in times of high anxiety and act like emotional buttons that can set either partner off into a fight or flight mode: these buttons can be mannerisms, words, tones, facial gestures, that probably are reminders of old family of origin wounds and cause a deep, “knee jerk” reaction in the other partner, and they react emotionally. Others can’t fathom mixing dating with raising kids, so they put the thought indefinitely on the back burner.
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Maria Edgeworth (1768-1849) expressed her concerns about this issue when tormented by pressure to get married. Plenty of kids with two parents are raised in poverty; plenty of kids with one parent are raised comfortably.
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